Parashat Vayishlach: Fear Meets Embrace

After twenty years in exile, Jacob is finally going home. But the closer he gets, the more terrified he becomes. Waiting there is Esau – the brother whose blessing he stole through deception, the brother who vowed to kill him. When messengers return with news that Esau approaches with four hundred men, Jacob’s worst fears seem confirmed. He frantically divides his camp, hoping to save at least half if attacked. Then, desperate, he prays: “Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; else, I fear, he may come and strike me down, mothers and children alike.” (Genesis 32:12).

Jacob makes a heartbreaking calculation. He arranges his family in order of his love – maidservants and their children first, then Leah and her children, finally Rachel and Joseph. Those in front would bear the brunt of any attack. He also sends gifts ahead to appease Esau. The Hebrew word meaning “gift” or “present” appears four times: “he selected from what was at hand these presents for his brother Esau” (Genesis 32:14), “they are a gift sent to my lord Esau” (Genesis 32:19), “if I propitiate him with presents in advance” (Genesis 32:21), “and so the gift went on ahead” (Genesis 32:22).

Then comes the dreaded moment.

“Esau ran to greet him. He embraced him and, falling on his neck, he kissed him; and they wept.” (Genesis 33:4)

“Please accept my blessing”

Esau’s four hundred men weren’t an army – they were an honor guard. Moved by his brother’s return after decades of silence, Esau came to welcome Jacob home. He tells Jacob he doesn’t need the gifts; he has plenty. But Jacob insists:

“But Jacob said, ‘No, I pray you; if you would do me this favor, accept from me this gift; for to see your face is like seeing the face of God, and you have received me favorably. Please accept my blessing which has been brought to you, for God has favored me and I have plenty.” And when he urged him, he accepted.” (Genesis 33:10-11)

Notice the shift. After using “gift” or “present” four times, Jacob suddenly says: “Please accept my blessing.”

In his book “Talks on the Parasha”, Prof. Yeshayahu Leibowitz (1903-1994) identified this as a Freudian slip – twenty years of repressed guilt breaking through. Jacob has carried the weight of stealing that blessing for two decades: the guilt, the distance from home, the broken relationship. Now, as he faces his brother, the truth slips out: “Please take back that blessing. Take it and free me from this burden. It was always yours.”

What if?

Often, the one who causes harm carries it far longer than the one who was harmed. Years ago, I hurt someone in a moment of youthful stupidity. It haunted me for twenty-five years. When I finally encountered that person again and apologized from my heart, he looked at me, stunned. He barely remembered.

What if Jacob had reached out to Esau a year or two after leaving? What if he’d asked forgiveness then and returned the blessing? He might have avoided twenty years of exile, twenty years working for Laban, twenty years of psychological torment.

Just before meeting Esau, Jacob receives a new name from God’s angel: Israel. The symbolism is clear. Jacob – whose name in Hebrew hints at crookedness – has walked down twisted paths, carrying guilt and distress. But after the reconciliation, he becomes Israel: one whose path is straight, whose heart is clean from past sins.

Since then, generation after generation, we’ve all been given the same task: to transform from Jacob into Israel.

Lior Tal Sadeh is an educator, writer, and author of “What Is Above, What Is Below” (Carmel, 2022). He hosts the daily “Source of Inspiration” podcast, produced by Beit Avi Chai.

For more insights into Parashat Vayishlach, listen to “Source of Inspiration”.

Translation of most Hebrew texts sourced from Sefaria.org
Main Photo: Meeting of Esau and Jacob\ Wikipedia